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Johnna's avatar

Hi David, I'm new to substack because I listened to Modern Wisdom podcast episode with you and I find your content very interesting so I wanted to read more.

Anyway, I've been trying to meditate on and off for a long time, and thinking a lot of doing more recently and really learning how to do it, because I don't think I really know how, but never have I ever felt happiness when I was practicing meditation, mostly I was just being bored or distracted by my own thoughts. Happiness wasn't even my reason why I wanted to do it. I just wanted to slow down my thoughts, be in the present and learn how to focus and not be distracted all the time.

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Jason's avatar

An interesting exercise for you would be one that Dr. David Burns invented to increase motivation at the start of therapy. It’s called paradoxical agenda setting. It’s described here and involves a magic button...

https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/jqTeghCJ2anMHPPjG/book-review-feeling-great-by-david-burns

For your case you’d write down all the reasons that not meditating to be happy make you an awesome person, say something positive about yourself or have a positive effect. Examples might be: I’m awesome as I am -- I don’t need to meditate. There are more important values to me than being happy. I save time for other things by not meditating.

Next, given all of these awesome things about not meditating, ask yourself why change anything at all. It’s at this point that the person begins a conversation with himself on whether change is really worth it. He might say, yeah those things are all true but it would be nice to be a bit happier so yeah I’ll do your stupid exercises/meditation/whatever.

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