You might think you want to be happy. You get out of bed and go to work because it makes you happy. Or maybe your job sucks, and you wish you worked somewhere else—somewhere you’d be happier. Or maybe your job isn’t that important to you, it’s just a way to pay the bills, and the thing that really
This is fascinating and thought-provoking! The recently released World Happiness Report for 2023 measures people's "life satisfaction" (that closely correlates with "happiness"). In light of this, what are your thoughts on countries such as Scotland and those in Scandinavia that aim to prioritize high levels of happiness or life satisfaction as a goal for governance? Is this bullshit as well?
If this were true [surprising positives], walking around with a negativity bias would result in more often feeling happiness. Empirically, I don't think that is the case. Maybe they are overall less happy, but experience more episodes of happiness a la your proposal? Idk, would need an EMA design.
Amused to notice how happy I feel right now. Because I was anticipating a certain enjoyment of the article after the opening pars. Then the bit I didn't expect - a predictive states theory of well-being mirroring one I offered a while ago (https://www.rarelycertain.com/p/that-feeling-when-you-get-phasic) added a layer of fun. Voilà - under-predicting what I'd get out of this piece made the outcome even better.
I'm not sure what to feel after reading this! Not happy, that's for sure. But I guess that's ok. I think I enjoyed it.
I'm interested in understanding this part more: "I enjoy meditating, but I never want to do it. Doomscrolling upsets me, but I often want to do it." By enjoy, you mean after the fact, right? Do you agree it's also possible to train your brain to want to do things you enjoy, like meditate, and not want to do things that upset you, like doomscroll? I feel like I've managed to do the former with playing sports for exercise, eating healthy, going on adventures with my son, having challenging conversations, reading your posts, etc. And I've managed to weed our most of my desire for some of the latter, like doomscrolling. Isn't this a way to enjoy life more, even if we don't call it "happiness"? Or maybe I'm dumb and deluding myself (which is probably even more effective)?
Great article and angle on a timeless problem of the human condition. It seems that our narrow perception of the world around us and our distaste of statistics messes up our predictions about what will make us happy and causes our irrational behavior. It’s a problem recorded two millennia ago by the Apostle Paul:
“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.”
I always assumed happiness is the reward we get when we do the right things in an evolutionary sense: When we keep up good relationships, work with meaningful things, have sex often enough, take good care of our children, eat decent food etc. our minds reward us with that feeling called happiness.
For that reason, I totally agree that pursuing happiness is meaningless: It is impossible to get the reward without doing the things that get rewarded (at least without recreational drugs or self-deception). But I think your conclusion is overly negative. Happiness is the reward for living a life approved by one's genes. Not only for things that are surprisingly good for those genes. It is entirely possible to wake up happy every morning, without any positive surprises.
A lot of your arguments are ironically bullshit and it assumes that we are all the same and want the same things.
"We know that if we savor every moment—every smile, every meal, every ray of sunshine—we will be happy. Yet we savor maybe 1% of our moments."
Speak for yourself. You're assuming that all human beings experience the same rate and amount of happiness and positive experiences as each other.
"We know that if we appreciate what we have, from the roof over our heads to the clothes on our backs, we will be happy. Yet we appreciate maybe 1% of what we have. "
Speak for yourself
"Good news makes us happier than bad news. Yet we consume way more bad news than good news, even though we can’t do anything about the bad news, and even though there is plenty of good news available."
The whole world isn't twitter. Many people avoid the News for this very reason.
"Anger feels bad. Yet when we’re angry with our loved ones, we think about all the times they made us angry, which just makes us angrier. Why don’t we think about all the times they made us happy?"
Again, speak for yourself
"We can delude ourselves into believing pretty much anything: the earth is flat, the world is run by a cabal of satanic pedophiles, etc. Yet we never delude ourselves into believing that everything is perfect and wonderful as it is."
You must have never met an Utopian Conservative before.
"If we were actually pursuing happiness, we’d be very good at it by now, given our many years of practice. Yet studies show that we suck at it. We’re incredibly bad at predicting how happy things will make us or how long our happiness will last."
There are vast bodies of scientific research that could help us stop sucking at happiness, like Positive Psychology, the science of happiness. Yet most people aren’t very interested in this research. It’s kind of boring."
How happy or miserable a person generally is boils down their genetics and has very little to do with their life choices or circumstances. There is no "science" to to being happy beyond that because happiness is just another emotion not an attainable "thing".
"We work too much, and some of us literally work ourselves to death, even though we’re well-aware that this makes us unhappy."
Speak for yourself
"Having a child makes us less happy and more stressed, and we know this, yet we do it anyways, often multiple times."
This WEIRD anti-natalist nonsense has been debunked by biological evidence numerous times. And that study you cited was limited to a small sample of Western people and never considers evidence from Neuroscience or behavior genetics that says otherwise.
"We maintain relationships with assholes, even though it’s clear we’d be happier without those assholes in our lives."
Women generally prefer macho assholes because they get more gratification and emotional fulfillment from being with them (and thus more happiness) since women are naturally attracted to raw masculinity and not soft sensitive beta males.
"We constantly beat ourselves up, but we almost never give ourselves compliments."
“To “want” something is to learn how to get it and take it when it’s available.”
Sorry, but that is a thoroughly novel definition of “want”. The word “want” is routinely used, and has always been used, to refer to aspirations that are not rationally pursued.
Strictly, to “want” something is to not have it, or to not have enough of it. “I want to be in better shape.” “I want to be a better father.” “I want to be rich.” “I want to stop drinking.” Happiness fits this pattern exactly: it’s something we want but are bad at pursuing it, and even at understanding it or predicting what will cause it. How is this any different from “I want to be rich” or “I want to have better habits”?
The thought experiment in which someone loses interest in the "guessing game" after mastering it seems to challenge the premise of the article, though -- they stop playing the game because it's no longer making them happy, rather than because it's no longer improving their social status/access to food/etc. By the same token, would people be as driven to pursue things like sex, food, and social status in the first place if those things didn't make them feel (however temporarily) happy?
This is fascinating and thought-provoking! The recently released World Happiness Report for 2023 measures people's "life satisfaction" (that closely correlates with "happiness"). In light of this, what are your thoughts on countries such as Scotland and those in Scandinavia that aim to prioritize high levels of happiness or life satisfaction as a goal for governance? Is this bullshit as well?
If this were true [surprising positives], walking around with a negativity bias would result in more often feeling happiness. Empirically, I don't think that is the case. Maybe they are overall less happy, but experience more episodes of happiness a la your proposal? Idk, would need an EMA design.
Amused to notice how happy I feel right now. Because I was anticipating a certain enjoyment of the article after the opening pars. Then the bit I didn't expect - a predictive states theory of well-being mirroring one I offered a while ago (https://www.rarelycertain.com/p/that-feeling-when-you-get-phasic) added a layer of fun. Voilà - under-predicting what I'd get out of this piece made the outcome even better.
I'm not sure what to feel after reading this! Not happy, that's for sure. But I guess that's ok. I think I enjoyed it.
I'm interested in understanding this part more: "I enjoy meditating, but I never want to do it. Doomscrolling upsets me, but I often want to do it." By enjoy, you mean after the fact, right? Do you agree it's also possible to train your brain to want to do things you enjoy, like meditate, and not want to do things that upset you, like doomscroll? I feel like I've managed to do the former with playing sports for exercise, eating healthy, going on adventures with my son, having challenging conversations, reading your posts, etc. And I've managed to weed our most of my desire for some of the latter, like doomscrolling. Isn't this a way to enjoy life more, even if we don't call it "happiness"? Or maybe I'm dumb and deluding myself (which is probably even more effective)?
Great article and angle on a timeless problem of the human condition. It seems that our narrow perception of the world around us and our distaste of statistics messes up our predictions about what will make us happy and causes our irrational behavior. It’s a problem recorded two millennia ago by the Apostle Paul:
“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.”
Romans 7:15, 19 NIV
I always assumed happiness is the reward we get when we do the right things in an evolutionary sense: When we keep up good relationships, work with meaningful things, have sex often enough, take good care of our children, eat decent food etc. our minds reward us with that feeling called happiness.
For that reason, I totally agree that pursuing happiness is meaningless: It is impossible to get the reward without doing the things that get rewarded (at least without recreational drugs or self-deception). But I think your conclusion is overly negative. Happiness is the reward for living a life approved by one's genes. Not only for things that are surprisingly good for those genes. It is entirely possible to wake up happy every morning, without any positive surprises.
I will read and savour this a few times.
This is beauty 😘
I knew it all , but man you have put things *CLEARLY*
A lot of your arguments are ironically bullshit and it assumes that we are all the same and want the same things.
"We know that if we savor every moment—every smile, every meal, every ray of sunshine—we will be happy. Yet we savor maybe 1% of our moments."
Speak for yourself. You're assuming that all human beings experience the same rate and amount of happiness and positive experiences as each other.
"We know that if we appreciate what we have, from the roof over our heads to the clothes on our backs, we will be happy. Yet we appreciate maybe 1% of what we have. "
Speak for yourself
"Good news makes us happier than bad news. Yet we consume way more bad news than good news, even though we can’t do anything about the bad news, and even though there is plenty of good news available."
The whole world isn't twitter. Many people avoid the News for this very reason.
"Anger feels bad. Yet when we’re angry with our loved ones, we think about all the times they made us angry, which just makes us angrier. Why don’t we think about all the times they made us happy?"
Again, speak for yourself
"We can delude ourselves into believing pretty much anything: the earth is flat, the world is run by a cabal of satanic pedophiles, etc. Yet we never delude ourselves into believing that everything is perfect and wonderful as it is."
You must have never met an Utopian Conservative before.
"If we were actually pursuing happiness, we’d be very good at it by now, given our many years of practice. Yet studies show that we suck at it. We’re incredibly bad at predicting how happy things will make us or how long our happiness will last."
There are vast bodies of scientific research that could help us stop sucking at happiness, like Positive Psychology, the science of happiness. Yet most people aren’t very interested in this research. It’s kind of boring."
How happy or miserable a person generally is boils down their genetics and has very little to do with their life choices or circumstances. There is no "science" to to being happy beyond that because happiness is just another emotion not an attainable "thing".
"We work too much, and some of us literally work ourselves to death, even though we’re well-aware that this makes us unhappy."
Speak for yourself
"Having a child makes us less happy and more stressed, and we know this, yet we do it anyways, often multiple times."
This WEIRD anti-natalist nonsense has been debunked by biological evidence numerous times. And that study you cited was limited to a small sample of Western people and never considers evidence from Neuroscience or behavior genetics that says otherwise.
"We maintain relationships with assholes, even though it’s clear we’d be happier without those assholes in our lives."
Women generally prefer macho assholes because they get more gratification and emotional fulfillment from being with them (and thus more happiness) since women are naturally attracted to raw masculinity and not soft sensitive beta males.
"We constantly beat ourselves up, but we almost never give ourselves compliments."
Speak for yourself
“To “want” something is to learn how to get it and take it when it’s available.”
Sorry, but that is a thoroughly novel definition of “want”. The word “want” is routinely used, and has always been used, to refer to aspirations that are not rationally pursued.
Strictly, to “want” something is to not have it, or to not have enough of it. “I want to be in better shape.” “I want to be a better father.” “I want to be rich.” “I want to stop drinking.” Happiness fits this pattern exactly: it’s something we want but are bad at pursuing it, and even at understanding it or predicting what will cause it. How is this any different from “I want to be rich” or “I want to have better habits”?
Does friendship exist? I don't think so.
https://technium.substack.com/p/friendship
If I place in you hand an extra dollar
Won't make you happier and won't make you taller
The thought experiment in which someone loses interest in the "guessing game" after mastering it seems to challenge the premise of the article, though -- they stop playing the game because it's no longer making them happy, rather than because it's no longer improving their social status/access to food/etc. By the same token, would people be as driven to pursue things like sex, food, and social status in the first place if those things didn't make them feel (however temporarily) happy?
That sunset is based tho.